Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The dawn and the dusk of loving



चाँद की इस कोमल रौशनी में,
और ठिठुरती सर्दी की मदहोशी में;
सुनूं तेरी सांसुं की आवाज़ मैं;
रुकी हुई सी इस रात की खामोशी में।

बस एक तू हमसफ़र हो मेरा,
और हो ये टिमटिमाती चांदनी रात ;
तेरी ज़ुल्फो से बहती हवा कुछ कहे,
और नज़रों की ज़ुबान करे कुछ बात।

गुलाबी सर्दी मैं तेरे स्पर्श की गर्माहट,
और दीवानों से भटकने की चाहत;
ना गम ना खुशी का एहसास ,
रहूं मैं इस भीड़ से दूर, सदा तेरे पास।

सोचता हूँ इतनी बड़ी भी नहीं ये ख्वाहिश,
पर दीवानगी की कोई सीमा नहीं;
तुम जहाँ ले चलो हमें हमसफ़र,
मेरे सपनों का शहर हो हमेशा वहीं।


-------------------------kamjosh




More I row my boat, fear of drowning grow,
More I come close to you, distance between us grow,
You said, I am the best thing you ever got,
I know you are the best thing, I have ever met,
then why apprehensions grow
and trust becomes low.

I wish to see your sparkling eyes,
I wish to see your fearless high,
more I wish, fear of loosing you grow,

Why unintensionally I make you sad;
and cannot keep you glad,
Why is it difficult to find words,
to make you realise how much I need you;

Is it a sin to hold a dream,
A dream of living a life with you;
a dream of realising our dreams come true,
If not then why the burden of holding dream grow.
We planned a future together,
but as time moves, uncertainity of our future grows,
If this is where our future is heading,
If your apprehensions are true,
Then I refuse to move in future;
I want to live in dark.......I wish to live in dark......

---------------------------Neha


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

TO LOVE AND TO HURT


I have always wondered, if the magical charm that falling in love brings, happens to be the only thing that makes it so enduring and so fulfilling. More than often I have disagreed to this view and have always had this belief that the beauty of love isn’t just about the degree of selflessness that it involves, but also about the immense capacity it provides us over the lives of those we love. Loving takes us to position where we can hurt people infinitely and influence their lives greatly, and this contributes equally towards making this emotion magical.

But unlike the pain that we cause to a lot of people we don’t love, hurting someone we love is not sadistic. I’d call it masochistic because deep down we realize that by hurting our loved ones, we too are suffering. So, the measure of how much we love somebody isn’t just about how happy we can make that person feel, but also about how much we really suffer when we hurt that someone.

Why does this happen. Why do we quintessentially hurt our loved ones when we know we too will suffer in turn? Freud summarized it beautifully. According to him, along with pleasure, Pain also happens to be a human need. Pleasure in life can’t exist in vacuum. In our eternal pursuit to seek pleasure, we are subconsciously seeking some pain too. And this isn’t because we like pain, but because the presence of some pain in life determines the degree to which we seek pleasure. It acts a totem around which we base our happiness.

Falling in love is similar in characteristic. When in love, we surrender our lives to the ones we love and entrust them with an ability to hurt us. We surrender in faith, knowing that we’ll be hurt but we can’t help but surrender. I feel that, if we have a deep sense of love for someone, we will not only feel an immense bliss in making that person happy, but also an excruciating pain in hurting the same. Loving to just make someone happy isn’t a strong proposition for an eternal love. There’s nothing to cement the relationship once our desire to make that person happy, wanes. However, if we suffer terribly when we are hurting our loved one, we know we can’t run away because we are in an immense pain.

So, judge not how much you love somebody by how much you like to see that person smile, but by how much you suffer when you see that person in pain. That, in my view will foster a better bond for a truly magical love and the right enamel for a lasting relationship.

"असीम हो ये आसमान चाहे, छोटी सी मेरी ख्वाहिश मगर,
खुशियाँ तुझे इस जहाँ की सारी, न भी कभी दे सका अगर;
सोच बराबर अपनी, बस एक मोहब्बत तुझे दे सकूं,
गम तेरे जीवन के सारे, काश कभी मैं ले सकूं. "


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

SOMETIMES IN MY LIFE




Sometimes in my life, I pass through a day,
When I have nothing to feel and nothing to say;
All I want then, is to have you by my side,
And let my eyes speak and have nothing to hide.

Progress would have been tough,
Had it not for you;
Living would have been rough,
Without you to speak my heart to.

I know not what my desire from life is,
But one is to make you grant me a wish;
A wish to never let me leave you and go,
And a wish to hug me when I am down and low.

All my life, I felt, I could walk alone,
Whatever the way was, I could still get to home;
Only do I know now, that I was always on the wrong way,
And then you held my hand, and showed where the truth lay.

Now that we vouch to walk together,
Through a rough path and through a rough weather;
Oh my angel! Let me make a wish,
I’ll hold your hand forever, and that’s a promise.

-----Here's something that I feel like singing for you angel-----


AND LIFE GOES ON.....

So much has happened in my life since I penned my last blog. The treacherous first term is over, the dreaded summer placements are done (for me at least) and I have gotten so so much close to ‘Angel’. All these events were so engrossing and deserved an entry of their own into my blog but either I am eternally penurious for time or I have been spending a little too much of my time with ‘Angel’.

But first things first. I am now one term old in the famed Indian B-school campus. Life has moved through a complete ‘Roller Coaster’ ride in the last three months. A lot of learning, discovering a few great companionships, a few heart breaks and a lot of sleepless nights. That is how I sum up my first term. And to top it all, coming across ‘Angel’. This has been my single biggest achievement in the last 3 months, and I can proudly say that as an answer to any similar question in any of the interviews I might face.

The first term ended with a break of a few days. Everybody went home. Not me…. Not me…..
I was here in the campus. With Angel, spending the most beautiful 3 days of my life in ages. I got so close to her and now know her so much better. I got to understand my vulnerability when I am with her and got to get so much of her love. CHERUBIC were the days. Thank you God for those blissful times.

Those blissful few days were followed by the Hellenic rigor. The Summer Placements were on. Tiring days, tens of GDs and interviews, much heartbreak, moments of self-doubt and of guilt, spurs of frustration and irritation, consoling friends and the final exuberance. We had it all and came out alive and kicking. More than the realization of being placed , the feeling of keeping sane amidst the chaos entices me. What did I gain in the end? A summer job wasn’t the only thing. There was so much more. The zeal to fight. The nerve to remain sober. The ability to stand along with my friends. The realization that even the best may fail. Everything in those two days made me learn. It was a true display of a sense of character. I definitely know now, that a job wasn’t the real thing I earned. What I earned was strength to fight, the patience to trust in my abilities and the zeal to remain by the side of someone who has entrusted my dreams into me.
I got to know, how I could behave in such tiring times. I shouted at Angel on several occasions. Partly in my own frustration and partly because I genuinely felt so. And she bore it all. Heard me patiently. Agreed to me even though she knew I was wrong and kept her sane more than me, displaying a truly angelic character. This is precisely why I know she completes me. I know my behavioral shortcomings and know precisely how she’ll fit in. I might act tough, but am not. I have my own idiosyncrasies and my own vulnerabilities. She can take care of both.

Thank you ‘Angel’ for bearing with me and thank you for trusting me. I feel am evolving into a more matured and a better human being because of you. I realize that there are so many things we got to improve about ourselves but together we’ll take care of that. This passion to learn, to be empathic towards each other and the sense of admiration more than love, that we have developed for each other will definitely take us places. Just keep up the faith in your abilities. You have known already that you are worth what you dream of and more of that is yet to come, as the time unfolds right in front of you. Even if things aren’t that good, we might at least have the company to cry and to crib, like we have been doing eternally………but whatever happens the motto remains…..TOGETHER WE ROCK!!!

Monday, September 8, 2008

IT FELT LIKE A KISS FOREVER.....










Lately I’ve been hired for a job and what a job it is. I love my work, love being consumed by it and have a blissful sense of fulfillment at the end of it. And yeah, I definitely get paid handsomely for it. Her highness walked into my life like a miracle and showered some soothing relief on this vagabond heart.
Now I have a job……WOW……I look forward to some fixed remuneration everyday and savor the variable component that comes regularly. Nothing to say of the surprise bonuses that her highness bestows on me quite unexpectedly. My language skills are still nascent to describe them. Yesterday was such a bonus day. Her highness knocked the ground beneath my feet and sent a chill down my spine. An unexpected offering that dropped into my world like some heavenly alms. I was bemused, frozen and spellbound. It felt like an epiphany and seemed like an eternity. Your Highness! You have showered my life with everything I had never expected and everything that I had always desired.
I am under an immense sense of gratitude and love for you and I want to tell you that working for you mean a world to me. It lightens my very spirit and gives me a high that has an infinite hangover. The world may change tomorrow or the winds might die, but the pleasure of working to make your world more beautiful and your dreams more real will never fade away.
You are my world, my dream and the reason of my happiness. My world is a perfect vacuum without your presence and my life’s a void. Just grant me a space in your world and let me get over all your sorrows. I promise to work with a dedication that’ll grow every day and a trust that’ll never wane.
Just let me into your life and usher a miracle in my life. I want to live a dream with you and imagine a world that’s very beautiful. Just let me rebuild your world with all the bliss in the cosmos. Just let me lie in your arms, let me whisper in your ears and let me take you on a ride to the edgeless corners of my imagination. Just sit beside me and let me dream of you and let me realize that loving you is the most beautiful emotion in the world.
I’ll never forget the lovely bonus I got the other day. It lightened my spirit and as a gratitude to your generosity, I would love to sing you the following lines.

“It felt like the morning breeze,
And felt like a tickling tease;
It felt like the first rain,
And felt like a world to gain.

It felt like a moonlit night,
And felt like a candle light;
It felt like a walk on the beach,
And felt like a heaven I could reach.

It felt like the hill snow,
And felt like a rainbow;
It felt like sailing across a lake,
And felt like a chocolate rich cake.

It felt like flying in the sky,
And felt like a fine wine high;
It felt like a walk together,
And felt like a dream forever.

It felt like the first love,
And felt like a piquant clove;
It felt like a rolling cascade,
And felt like the banyan shade.

It felt like the fragrance of your hairs,
And felt like a million years;
It felt like the warmth of your touch,
And felt like a love so much.

It felt like your beautiful eyes,
And felt like the sound of your sighs;
It felt like the whisper in my ears,
And felt like I had nothing to fear.

It felt like loving forever,
And felt like I’ll forget you never;
It felt like losing sanity,
And felt like wishing eternity.

It felt like a sleep in your arms,
And felt like your evergreen charms;
It felt like I’ll hurt you never,
And felt like a kiss forever."